GET ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING FROM PAGE 9

Power Point: The language that you use can also invoke the law of inertia. Seemingly innocuos words such as; as, while, and during are such powerful motivators that they are often used in hypnosis. Remember that when a person is already in motion -either in thought or physically- it´s easier for him to continue. For example if you want compliance, you´re better off saying something such as, "While we go out, do you want to stop in and see Jim?" Do you see how easily the first sentence flows with the idea of seeing Jim? / Strategy Review: ~ Narrow a person´s options to avoid extensive deliberation. Fewer choices mean that he will make a decision faster and be less likely to dwell on it afterward. ~ Give a deadline for taking action. A deadline restricts freedom and increases our desire to gain what is rare and becoming scarcer. This greatly motivates us to move forward and to take immediate action. ~ Engage the law of consistency by first having an individual commit to a smaller request. When we take a small step in one direction we are driven to maintain a sense of consistency by agreeing to larger requests. ~ Use your words and your actions to engage the law of expectation. ~ Maximize the law of inertia by reducing what you want a person to do to simple, easy-to-follow steps to get him to begin moving in the right direction. ~ Offer an y small additional benefit for taking action now. This will significantly increase your chances of gaining compliance. ~ Keep in mind tha the number-one psychological rule that determines if someone will do something for you or even with you is that she must, to some extent, like you and preferably trust you. / 14. Get Anyone to Take Your Advice: You´ve got a great idea but nobody is listening to you! This can be extremely frustrating but by following a specific psychological strategy you can virtually ensure that anyone will listen to what you have to say. The three main factors of indluence here are (1) emotions, (2) strategy, and (3) consequences./ It´s been clearly established, through numerous studies, that you need to appeal to a person´s emotions in your atttempt to persuade. No matter how rational and logical your argument is, if you do not arouse emotions you will have great difficulty influencing him./ Ninety percent of the decisions we make are based on emotion. We then use logic to justify our actions. If you appeal to someone on a strictly logical basis, you will have little chance of persuading him. You need to translate the facts into an emotion-based statement- and give clear and specific benefits that appeal to the person´s emotions./ In addition to arousing strong emotions you will be especially effective when you offer a specific game plan with a clear-cut course of action for proceeding. When we are passionately motivated to take action and move forward, it is essential that we understand the direction and the method for proceeding. It makes feel comfortable and secure knowing that the path is clearly lit and laid out. When you want someone to listen to your advice, provide more than just the desired destination; also give her a map for getting there./ It has been shown that if you add to this how your idea will prevent negative or unpleasant consequences you will be infinitely more successful in your attempt to persuade. A well-known sweepstakes company used to have a slogan that said: You can be a winner. It did very well with this for a long time. But then, I´m sure after consulting a psychologist or two, its slogan changed to You may aleady be a winner. This greatly increased their sucess. Why? Because now the person reciving this envelope became fearful that he might lose something that he already had. Throw out an evelope that contains untold riches? No way! This was different than gaining something new, as the old slogan implied. Now he risked losing something. This is a much more powerful motivator. Therefore, focus on what he will be saving himself from (i.e. the heartache, money, energy, etc.) rather than what he has to gain from listening to you./ Four Other Psychological Factors to Consider: ~ People tend to respond more favorably to solutions if they believe the plan of action came from them. Try to remind someone that it was he who first had the idea or put you in the right direction, etc. ~ Let him know too that this new way of thinking is really consistent with who he isRemind him of other things he´s done that are consistent with this current belief or action. You may recall from a previous chapter that allhuman beings have an inherent need for order and consistency. If he views this as a continuation of his thinking and not a departure from it, you´ll increase your chances of getting compliance. ~ Nobody wants to hear advice from a "know-it-all." One of the very best ways of offering advice is to let the person know that you don´t believe you have all the answers. You´ll be perceived as infinitely more credible and sincere. A great way to phras your advice is. "There are things I think I know, and there are things I know, and there are thinks I know I know. And this is something that I know I know." ~ Above all, remember enthusiasm is contagious. The more excited and passionate you are about what you´re saying the more excited he will become about it./ Follow this strategy for sure-fire success, but before you do, let´s take a look at one of the biggest mistakes that people make when giving advice. This aspect of human nature is responsible for more "stubborn" thinking than anything else. Research in human behavior shows us that when we feel our freedom is being restricted or limited we tend to move farther toward what is being limited./ The name given to this is called reactance and it occurs when we feel that someone is trying to limit our freedom. And it can be so powerful that people may do the opposite of what you are asking -just because of reactance./ In situations that are likely to generate reactance you will meet with great resistance if you promote a hard sell. No one will liesten with an open mind to what you have to say, if he feels he´s being forced into it. And in fact, that makes sense. Why listen if you feel that your own wishes aren´t being considered? Therefore, the best approach is to let the person know ahead of time that he has the final say on what he ultimately does. Then lay out the facts, presenting both sides -the pros and the cons and follow the rest of the tactics in this section./ Strategy Review: ~ Ninety percent of the decisions we make are based on emotion. We then use logic to justify our actions. You must arouse emotions in your attempt to persuade. ~ Offer a specific game plan with a clear-cut course of action for proceeding. ~ Add to this how your idea will prevent negative or unpleasant consequences. This is more effeective than explaining what someone will gain by listening to you. ~ If true, remind him how he is in some way the one who first gave yu the idea. ~ Let him know too that this new way of thinking is really consistent with who he is. Relate the things he´s done that are consistent with this current belief or action. ~Dont come across as a "know-it-all" and you´ll be perceived as more credible and sincere in this situation. ~Remeber that enthusiasm is contagious. If you´re not excited about the idea, he will not be excited about it either./ 15. Get Anyone to Follow Through on a Commitment to You: "But you promised!" If you´re tired of saying this, the following strategy will help to ensure that you´ll be able to get any person to follow through on anything that he´s promised to you./ The most effective psychological tool for getting someone to follow through is to let him know that you believe that he is th type of person who does follow through. Usin phrases sucha as "You´re the kind of person who..."; "You´ve always impressed me with your ability to.."; or "I´ve always liked the fact that you..." invokes the powerful psychological law of internal consistency./ These phrases make the person feel compelled to follow through because you involve the ego and create a sense of desired consistency. People have an inherent need to perform in a manner consistent with how they see themselves and with how they think others perceive them. That´s why one of the biggest mistakes people make is saying things like "Come on, please do it"; "I just knew this was going to be a problem"; "I just knew you weren´t going to do this"; or "I don´t know why I bothered to count on you." This does not generate any psychological motivation to prove you wrong. These comments address someone´s actions not her identity and force her ego to come up with reasons to justify her behavior, not to change it! / For example, let´s say you´ve asked someone to work on some files for you over the next two weeks. Don´t say, "How are they coming?" or "Shouldn´t you have started by now?" This only provides an opportunity for either an excuse or a chance for her to back out. Instead say, "You know, Sally, I appreciate your helping me with those files. I respect the fact that you´re the kind of person who not only offers to help but follows through until she gets the job done." With these words you´ve wrapped this person´s self-concept into a single cause. How you see her is woven into her behavior toward this project. You can be sure she will comply and continue working on it so that your image of her is not tarnished. This makes it nearly impossible for her to say, "I´m too busy or I don´t feel like doing it." Bacause not only would she risk your questioning who she is but this would leave her wondering as well. Simply, she fancies seeing herself as someone who "follows through on things... and can be counted on," etc. If she abandons this project, then she has to ask herself, "What kind of person am I?" This is something very few people are willing or able to do./ Another version of this tactic -which can also be used in conjunction with the first one - is to invoke a generic value identity. For instance, you can incorporate themes such as friendship, commitment to work, a sense of deency- all qualities that most people aspire to identify with. A question like, "Isn´t it amazing how some people don´t know the definition of the word friendship? is so powerful. With this one statement you bring her value system -what is important to her- into the task. Now this is not an isolated job, but something that actually defines your friendship. She´s risking more than just annoying you by bailing out; she´s risking the realtionship. Instead of this just being an isolated project, you´re able to bring your entire friendship and the power that it has into this one task./ These psychology-laden phrases will help keep her moving along, but when you want someone to follow through, it´s crucial to lay the groundwork when you first ask for the favor. Take a look at the following study and then we´ll discuss it./ Angela Lipsitz report that ending blood-drive reminder calls with, "We´ll count on seeing your then, okay?" and then pausing for response increased the show-up rate from 62 to 81 percent . Just this one phrase increased the rate by about 20 percent. When you initially ask for the favor make sure tht you give a quick verbal confirmation. This dramatically increases the level of internal consistency as you solidify your chances of getting someone to follow through./ [Power Point: Keep in mind that the act of volunteering makes it more likely that a person will follow through. If a certain task was thrust upon someone, you´re going to risk an internal justification -where the thinking might be, "If I fon´t follow through, he´ll be mad. I will feel guilty or suffer some form of retribution." This can hinder his enthusiasm for completing the task if he´s able to resolve this internal conflict. In other words, he´s not doing it because he´s a great guy who follows through, but rather because he has to. To override this thinking "when you think it may be a problem), you just need to include the phrase, "I know you could have gotten out of it if you wanted to." This is because when we volunteer, cognitive dissonance is reduced with the continuing thought that "I must really want to be doing this." The only other rational is, "I´m an idiot and I never should have agreed to this." Most people psyches are more comfotable with the first rationalization. This is why we often see people doing things that seem completely absurd or out of character for them.] / But wait, there´s more! When you initially ask a person for the favor, follow this five-phase process to solidify his intent to help./ You tell a friend, for example, that you´re having problems with your computer and he cheerfully offers to try to come by next Saturday. Now, he just might be saying this to be nice or because he actually intends to try to come by. But you rally need his help, and to make sure you get it, you want to move him internally and turn a casual offer into a firm commitment. You´ll see that by applying a specific pshycological sequence, you can take a vague offer and turn it into a specific, firm commitment./ Five-Step Process: 1. Get him to say it: Whe nyou say it, it´s one thing, but when he says it, it takes his commitmen to a whole new level. You want him to say the words. Therefore, you say, "Do you really mean that?"or "Are yu serious?" He will most likely respond with, "Yes, I´ll help you on Saturday." 2. Get a specific time frame: You want him to commit to a time in which he will help you and / or to a time frame of how long it will take for him to complete his task. In this example, you would say, "Great, what time?" and "Any idea of how long it might take?" 3. Develop a sense of obligation: It´s important to let him know that because of his help, you are going to in some way alter what you were going to do. Viewing his help as a plus is only part of it. He needs, too, to see that the withdrawal of his offer will cause a disturbance. If he reneges and there are no repercussions, then he will see that things are no worse off for you than before he offered. In this case, you might let him know that you are canceling other appointments and moving your schedule around to accomodate him. 4. A sense of conscience: You want to relay that you are now dependent upon him for his help. Now is the time where you let him know how important his help really is. Mention any consequences that you might suffer if he doesn´t come through. In this example, it might be that your computer is necessary to get a report in and maybe you´ll get in hot water if it´s not in on time- or something to that effect. 5. Seeing is believing: Real estate agents know the power of this tactic. When showing a home they want the people to envision it as theirs. Taking it from someone else´s house to their home is a powerful visual technique. So when showing the customer around they´ll ask questions such as, "Where do you think you might put the TV?" and "Where will the sofa go"? In this example you might ask your friend, "What will you do first? Hook up the monitor or go through the booklet?" You want him to "see" himself doing what he says he will./ [Power Point: Master magician Harry Houdini offered a simple explanation when asked how he was able to so easily escape from a closed and locked safe. He said, "Safes are built to keep people from getting in, not to keep people from getting out." If you want to double-check to make sure that someone´s truly committed then use this quick technique. There is a psychological door that we keep guarded and tightly closed, but there´s always a back door that we can walk right through. This Back Door tactic is a simple and highly effective questioning technique. It works because no matter how well practiced someone is at convincing you of his sincerity, he isn´t prepared to respond to this tactic./ The key phrase is: "What would have to happen for this not to work out?" This is so effective because his entire line of thought is not on why he wouldn´t do something but on why he would. He´s used to answering questions as to why he is doing or will do what he says he will. But answering clearly what would prevent him from accomplishing his objective requires that he would first have to have true intentionsof doing it. Put simply, it´s asking him to think like a person who holds a different belief. Under normal circumstances -if he was honest in his intentions- this wouldn´t b a problem, but it becomes one when an individual is not sincere./ After you ask this question the only answer you should expect is a fast "nothing" or a reasonable obstacle -something specific that is beyond his control. We all have reservations, and acknowledging them doesn´t hamper our commitment. It just makes us hones. But if you ask Jake what would prevent him from marrying his girlfriend next year and he smiles and says, "I don´t know... if things change ... or something," Jake is no committed. If you merely ask, "You will marry Jane, right?" then he´ll respond with a convincing yes, and give you all the reasons why he loves her. Because this is the question that he+s been getting consistently and he can answer it easily and believably. The reverse, however, is not what he´s expecting or is prepared for.] / Strategy Review: ~ When you initially ask for the favor, hit s many of these five points as you can: (a) Get him to say it; (b) get a specific time frame; (c) develop a sense of oblligation; (d) engage his conscience; and (e) have him tell you how things will unfold. ~ Then end the conversation with a firm verbal confirmation and a simple phrase such as, "So I´ll see you next Saturday, right?" ~ Finally, as the day approaches let him know that you appreciate that he´s someone who really follows through and ( or that you are glad that he knows the true value of friendship / responsibility / loyalty -whichever best applies.// 16. How to Get a Stubborn Person to Change His Mind About Anything: Fewer things can be more frustrating than trying to pry open the mind of a closed-minded person. But by the following a precise set of psychological tactics you can get anyone to listen to what you have to say objectively and fairly. More than this, this strategy paves the way for getting someone to change his mind without a wall of resistance../ When you´re dealing with a closed-minded person there are four possible factors for this attitude: 1. This person usually says no to everything, no matter what the idea is. If it´s new, it´s frightening and he doesn´t like that. His motto is "change is bad." 2. This person has a problem with some people -in this case you. You find that no matter how persuasive, no matter how much you idea makes sense, if he hears it from you, he wants no part of it. 3. This person just came off another, though unrelated, situation, where he felt taken advantage of and manipulated, and the wounds are still fresh. Anything that further deviates from his usual thinking is not well received. He´s not feeling good about his ability to make decisions and will retreat to safe ground to avoid being swayed. 4. This person has a situational aversion. This means that it´s got nothing to do with you but "the whole idea" of whatever it is just doesn´t sit well with him -meaning that "it´s just not him." Your idea is inconsistent with his self-concept -how he sees himself./ If you´ve ever faced any people like this, you know that arguing with them will get you absolutely nowhere. The stronger your argument becomes, the greater their rejection of it. Logic goes out the window and nothing you say or do will make a difference. Unless, of course, you say or do the right thing./ If you believe that someone´s resistance is due to either A,B, or C, then you´ll simply use a two-phase process to get him to reevaluate his thinking about any belief, value, idea, person, place, or thin./ Phase I: Varios studies show that if prior to asking a favor, you can get a person to make a statement that is consistent with granting your request, you´re likely to get a change of attitude and then get her compliance. What you want to do is have her agree to an idea or a way of thinking that will later neutralize her own objection./ No matter what this person´s attitude, you can adjust her thinking radically and quickly with just this one tactic. For instance, let´s say that you want your boss to hear you out on a new idea. Simply say, "Don´´t you think that closed-mindedness is such an undesirable trait?" Then after a short time when you bring up the subject, you´ll find her unusually cooperative and open to your suggestions. Because once your boss readily agrees with this statement she´s unconsciously driven to act in a consistent manner./ This tactic is so highly effective because human beings have a strong need to be congruous with their attitudes, beliefs and actions. For is someone thinks one way and does something else he´s thought of as confused and nutty. And we perceive ourselves in the same way. Once we commit publicly to a stance, our attitude will conform to it and then influence our subsequent actions. As we´ll see below, depending upon the situation, you can ask more specific questions to create greater internal consistency in a person./ Phase II: Restrict in some way, or some part, his ability to do what he doesn´t want to do. That´s right. When someone is stubborn it´s because he knows that he can do something but chooses not to. By thwarting his ability to do it the equation is now thrown off because he no longer sees the decision as his And if you can´t do something, then you have no reason to be stubborn about it. As a matter of fact, it increases the desire to do it! This instantly melts the wall of obstinacy. It´s like tellin someone who doesn´t like to travel that she can never leave her town. Suddenly, with her freedom restricted, the ego goes into overdrive and creates an unconscious desire to be able to leave. Then once the desire to be able to leave kicks in, it´s followed with the desire to leave because of cognitive dissonance. The thiking is, "I want to be able to leave because I must want to leave. The mind then begins to race for ways to do what it feels it must want to do./ This restriction can take any form. Why do you think coupons have expiration dates and sales are for a "limited time" only? If the option is always open to us, our impetus to act is not so strong . But once something becomes restricted -whether or not we really wanted it in the first place- we become more interested in it. Does prohibition ring any bells? But here´s the key: The restriciton must be something that is ovecome when the person comes up with the solution./


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If you want to be successful in life, you often need to get cooperation from other people. And the number-one-rule for getting people to do what you want is to get them to like you. /